Close call…55

Ì came so very close to drinking today. All the elements were there, the ones that have caused me to falter each time in the past year:

  • Special occasion
  • Friends over who drink
  • Good wine being drunk
  • Great food made by me
  • Temptation loud loud loud in my head

I’m really grateful to be writing this and to still be sober. It’s a bit amazing actually. Do you know what the tipping point ultimately was, during that battle? I’m actually not completely sure. I know I had lots of thoughts of you guys, and that gave me a lot of strength. I know the most persuasive sober argument was thinking of all the emotional battles I’ve been through these past weeks, and worrying that I actually might not make it back to another Day 1 this time. I know I thought about how good it would feel to actually make it through this day without giving in this time, and I realized that if I did fight back, it would be easier the next time. I know I challenged several thoughts (and even 2-3 actual decisions) to drink. I’m not sure how, but the sober voice kept fighting back, and after about 30-45 minutes of a pretty intense mental battle, the desire to drink just…disappeared.

This is the Big Situation that has always tripped me up, and I didn’t drink. What a huge, amazing, empowering RELIEF.

Thank you for being here, for helping me be accountable to myself today.

Love and light, D

14 thoughts on “Close call…55

  1. Terrifically pleased for you….so great to read this! I was 51 days sober on my first sober Christmas Day. So having done this you now have the best possible answer when that shitty voice tells you that you can’t – “yes I can – because I’ve done it before.” Happy Christmas 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Indeed if there was ever going to be a challenge, Christmas day would be it! I believe now we’ve faced our biggest challenge we can do anything!

    Well done for making it through that especially tough 45 mins. I hope it was worth it to enjoy the rest of the day with a clear head and wake up without a hangover x

    Like

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